Super Natural
by Skylar P. Rose
Summary: "She promised she'd never leave me..." {{one-shot}}


HOMESTUCK

Thank You

_Her headaches, constant. Increasing in pain with each passing day...She can't even manage to stand on her own, it's gotten so bad...Now you think of saying "There's no use in praying", still she bows her head so she can say, "Thank you for just one more day."_

* * *

It was cold...to cold to be out. But it didn't matter. Not today anyway, not on a day like this. It had been two..maybe five months. The days had been lost on the man, not truly knowing how to keep up with something when he, himself, had found he had lost a reason to push on. Those last words, rang over and over within the pit of his brain, silently driving him insane. The soft weak voice shuttered through him, and he felt his legs go numb, and his stomach tighten. He put a hand to his mouth for a moment, as to be sure to not make himself sick with the memories.

The rain that echoed throughout the silent area was intimidating...horrifying... But only to him. He stood alone, the bouquet of flowers gripped to the point of death, fell to the floor as his knees finally gave out. A clap of thunder rang throughout the lifeless hills of which he stood upon. His head hung low, and his glasses slid off of his face, and in that moment, everything came back, and it was as if he was forced to relive everything, all over again...and again...and again... As if it was a punishment. Shaky hands reached into a damp pocket, removing a sheet of paper. Tattered and wavy from wet marks, tears...raindrops, who knew anymore? His mouth moved, but nothing came out, except for a choked sound, and finally after moments, the words began to slowly, gently, ooze out.

* * *

It was mid April, their home slowly warming up with the change of the season, the hope of children had begun to weigh heavy on the couples minds, one more than the other, but the desire was still present. Obvious within their every day actions. It was a comforting thought, one that scared him, but gave him hope for a brighter future, one that he wanted to spend with with her, and her alone. Bathing in her odd being. He wasn't even sure the true reason behind the attraction, one he knew, was to act on his desires, and he did, and got what he wanted, which he came to realize, was all he would need. The girl rolled back, her shirt baggy on her frame as she looked up at a ceiling, a few bees buzzing around her, and after a moment, a new buzz was introduced to the symphonic sounds occurring around her.

A warm smile was placed on her features as a pair of fangs poked out over her soft silky black bottom lip, her hat in her hand, her coat tossed on the back of a chair, a drawing tablet sat at her feet, and as she giggled, her eyes clenched, shut, two hands found themselves on either side of her face, a nuzzle, a kiss, a whisper of admiration, and her eyes opened, to be greeted by her friend. Her eager lover.

"Hello Nep... have a good day?" The troll offered, hoping to strike up a conversation. She'd never get the chance to tell him how much she enjoyed him just...talking to her, as if she was his bests friend. She would never know she was. He chuckled, watching as she carefully pushed herself up, and something caught his eye, an odd bruise marking had found itself on her arm. The cat troll looked at him, and then gingerly wrapped her thin short arms around his shoulders, digging her face in his hair, giggling as he stood up, and spun her around, her blue tail swaying with them. A moment passed, and the laughter ceased, replaced with small conversation. Giggle were normal between the two, a regular occurrence, one he highly enjoyed hearing.

"What did you have to go to Karkats hive for, again? I forgot..." She said, her cat pun highly obvious as she spoke. The male whose arms had found her waste, nipped lovingly at her neck, he sighed, pausing to answer her question.

"He asked I help him code, remember...your memory has been really bad recently... I told you all day yesterday, and its as iif you forgot I lived here... Have you been feeling alright? I cant lie and say my concern for you hasn't been on a slow increase as of late...I'm worried. Did you ever even go do what I asked?" He whined, and the girl rolled her eyes.

"Pawllux...darling, I'm fine...you're the only one worried about me...believe me, I'm alright, I promise..." She told him, facing him as she leaned up against a counter to her back, sniffling gently. He eyed her, his eyes running over her features, now finally catching on.

A small trail of blood had found itself just out of her nose, and she sniffled once more. Her face, cheeks, eyes, had green streaks. The bags under her eyes had grown dark, her skin pale and chalky, the bruises darkening, and her strength faltered. The sweet kind loving smile never left her thin sickly lips, and despite this, he turned the other cheek, ignoring it, convincing himself this is how she had always appeared, had always been thin, had always been thin to the point of her hipbones protruding the way they are now. Had always appeared as if death was moments away...yes...this was normal for her...it always had been. A super natural imbalance within her DNA that caused her to look...and act...and be...in the condition she was in, in that exact moment. As if time had warped her image and left it permanently stained within his deepest thoughts.

The girl hacked and coughed, and fell to the floor, quickly being caught by her lover and he eased her down, his face etched with concern as he held her in his arms, her eyes closing gently. A snore left her mouth, and he smiled weakly, lifting and carrying her to the room, and setting her within the bed. He could go without food, its not as if it would honestly bother him. He rid himself of his glasses, and his shirt, and slipped into the bed with her. An empty hand had found its way to her hair, which felt far softer and more groomed than his, a trait he'd come to adore her for. The curled ends lulled him to sleep, and he so eagerly satisfied its wish to take him.

Mere hours had passed, far into the night, and a horribly grotesque sobbing rang throughout the bed room, a groan, mixed with a gargling scream, shook the male troll awake, and in the bathroom, faced away from him, stood his lover, hardly holding herself up, her tail hung low, as if it had mimicked the body it clung too, and had proceeded to give up, and he quickly made his way to her, eager to put her back to bed so he too could resume sleeping, but the sight that greeted him, made him immediately panic.

She stood, eyes wide, hands covering some of her face, shaking as if she'd been traumatized, looking up at him and letting out a choked sob, she whimpered, and he gasped. Blood...leaked out of her nose, her ears, her eyes, her mouth... it oozed down her body, dripping onto the tile beneath her. A moment, he stretched his hand towards the shaking troll, as he did this, he watched what was left of his matesprits stomach pull in, and a fountain of olive green material oozed out of her mouth, she coughed and hacked once more, and once the splattering noise had echoed throughout his skull, sending him into a slight state of shock, he was almost late in catching his beloved, and cradling her within his arms. His eagerness came as no surprise as he scooped her up, and wrapped her in a blanket, and sprinted full force to none other than Equius.

The night of waiting was long...deafening... A night he'd never thought he'd have to live through, but he surely did, and in the morning, at dawns light, the male troll had been presented with a healthy matesprit, Nepetas smile full, happy, content...healthy. It was as if the illness had never occurred, as if it never had even happened and the two left content.

Things once again continued, hope returning to the house hold as the month of August rolled around, greeting them both with the official hope of children. Not a sign of illness had been detected not a drop of medicine had gone to waste to keep the deadly offender at bay, and Sollux eagerly urged her to take each medicine each day to keep her going, so he could too. He needed her more than anything at this point, finding his studies and projects just came about easier to preform with her around, and after months of eager planning, the building of a decent nursery for a grub or two had finally been constructed, the processes began. Pails filled fast, and days turned to weeks, and after the hundred or millionth or billionth time trying, they felt good, content knowing that this was it... they walked miles, for days, to present their offer to none other than the mother grub, in hopes they'd do as they asked, and she turned them away, uttering words of warning.

Once again, days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and before long, October had come, greeting them with a desperate Nepeta and a depressed Sollux. As if her eager need and desire to have a child had totally consumed her being, the need to continue her name, as if she were to foresee his future, and had attempted to aid in numbing the unavoidable unknown pain that had began to loom over their heads. As the weeks turned to months, with each day that passed, Sollux found his need to write, grow. Coding was fun...hacking was a blast, but he found himself humbled with the thought of writing a letter, and stashing it away, and one day, when his beloved found the pile, a warm smile had grazed her features, and they tried again, this time, slow, gentle, lovingly...as it was meant to be...this time, they were so sure...so right with one another...so alright... that it was time for them to continue their legacy, and hope for the start of a better generation.

However...when the day came, and they presented their wish to the mother grub, she once again, turned them away, this time not bothering to sugar coat or manipulate the truth. The news...had sent Nepeta into a state of shock, one that left her with such a feeling of emptiness, not even Sollux could feel the void the lack of a child had imprinted on her. Thoughts of raising others had been laid on the table as options, but her reply and answer was always the same...never faltering.

_"Whats the point if i cant have your child..."_

The response had lead to a severe depressed state, and which he could only force her out of by being forceful, and demanding, shaking sense into whenever he felt she needed it, and she was more than willing to oblige. A day gone by, and November was eagerly waiting at their door, a day gone by, and Sollux had come home to the sound...of silence. No greeting...no welcome home kiss or hug...or wave...or response. He called out for his lover, in hopes she'd respond, but once again, he was met with the sound..of utter...empty...silence.

Panic swallowed him whole, and he searched the hive, hoping not to find her death upon the floor, but no..instead, he found her in the nursery, stripped to nothing, standing in the corner, repeatedly ramming her face within the corner of the wall. Black smudges covered the once yellow and black walls, claw marks and holes dashed the area. Furniture destroyed, and he could only stare in total awe. The sound of dropping met his ears, and a swift readjustment of his glasses, had lead him to the culprit of the sound... Her hands, oozing with a mixture of blood and paint, dripped on the floor. He lead her to the kitchen, wrapping the cat troll in a blanket, holding her within his lap. Silent tears rolled down her already stained cheeks as she bit her lip, poorly attempting to stifle a harsh sob that left her lips, and all he could do was stroke her back gently as she unleashed every ounce of pent up rage that had been bottled and contained within herself.

She had gone to see Equius that day...only to be informed the medication had destroyed any hope of child, and she had also been told, that with every pill she took, she was simply prolonging the inevitable, a piece of info that had never once left her mouth until it was too late. He stroked her back gently, not sure of his own mental state... it was shocking... everything...he couldn't handle it... leaving crossed his mind multiple times... but he didn't...he stayed, and helped push her through...

December came with the chilling knock of a door, and the news of Nepetas medicine no longer being obtainable... She sat at the table, a cup of coffee in her tired hands as the news was shared. She hadn't taken and ounce of the medication since Equius told her of her fate, and she bit her lip, pressing a hand to her face as she thought...of every day that passed... how alone... how horrible... The thought was quickly brushed aside as realization sank in. Sollux had his back against the door, and the sound of a thump made her look up, her bright olive eyes scanning him as he hid his face with his hands. She walked over, crawling half way, putting a hand to her horn, she meowed sweetly. Sollux looked up at her, and with a shaky hand ruffled her hair, much like he did when they were teens.

"You're far stronger than I, my darling kitty..." She smiled, and nuzzled his hand.

"We'll get through this I promise...I'm fine" He nodded, knowing her route for this... and he went with it, silently hoping it would truly make a difference...

A week passed, and her state returned, but far worse and within a matter of days, she had found herself hospitalized. Friends came to sit, and watch, and talk, leaving her notes, and cards and paper, so she could pass the time with doodles and notes to Sollux, which he locked away in a box, just for her notes and knickknacks. It was odd to think about really...

"Hey Sol...I'm sorry about all of this... Truly, I am..." Eridan had come, giving Nepeta a very delightful story time, using Feferis assistance of course, earning them a smile no one had seen in a long time. Only Sollux had been greeted with that. Some had come to pray, a pointless effort, one wasted on a hopeless cause, he knew, but bit his tongue, not daring to cross the line he knew better than to cross...She wanted him to not be sad, so he'd hold his promise to her.

The warning came a week ahead of time...a week before earth Christmas... as less and less visitors made themselves known, Sollux spent every day, reading her one more note out of the very special collection he had stashed away, and out of his lovers way. He had never been sure what broke him more, seeing her even more sickly than she had been only months ago, or knowing that he wouldn't be able to gaze at her everyday.

"I love you because..." his voice trailed off and she smiled, squeezing his hand.

"You know...love is watching...someone die... Sollux... I love you...and I love our friends.. I love the way you walk, the way you talk...your lisp excites me... I love your horns, I love your eyes, I love your glasses, I love your warm welcoming crazy personality. I love your love of computers...and I love knowing you're going to be the best father when you find a better troll... But, most of all.. I love you... " That was it...

He felt his heart clench as she clenched his hand, sitting up one last time, and placing a gently kiss on his lips before wrapping her heavy arms around his neck lightly, he held her, laying beside her. He could feel the life slip from her hands... her soul seeming to flutter out of the fragile cage that had contained it. The immediate coldness and blood that leaked out of her wide eyes and open mouth scared him, but with his weak mind and broken state, such a thing was easily brushed aside and ignored. Even as she laid lifeless in his arms... he refused to let her go... Shouts of things like_ "She promised shed never leave me"_ and things were thrown around the room as they were forced to tear him from the lifeless body of his dead lover...

_"The month is July... its your birthday...I brought you flowers..I know how much you liked lilies... I also brought your drawings.. I framed them too, because..I thought maybe you'd like to see what you did...when you were alive... I miss you Nep...and you should come home...I miss you...I miss you so much..." _

_He walked home that day, a small boy at his side with small horns and a blue tail. _


End file.
